Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Process Oriented - Funny one

If God was process oriented, the Book of Genesis might read
something like this:


In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth
was without form and void. God created a small committee. He
carefully balanced the committee vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic
origin, and economic status to interface pluralism with the
holistic concept of self-determination according to
adjudicatory guidelines.

Even God was impressed, and so ended the first day.

And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement."

And behold, the committee decided to prioritize and strategize and
God called that process empowerment. And God thought it sounded
pretty good.

And evening and morning were the second day.

And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives
and engage in long term planning."

Unfortunately, a debate about the semantic differences between
goals and objectives pre-empted almost all of the third day.

Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God
thought the process was constructive. And evening and morning
were the third day.

And God said, "Let there be a retreat in which the committee can
envision functional organization and engage in planning by
objectives."

The committee considered adjustment of priorities and consequential
alternatives to program directions, and God saw that this was good.
And God thought that it was even worth all of the coffee and donuts
that he had to supply.

And so ended the fourth day.

And God said, "Let the committee be implemented with long range
planning and strategy."

The committee considered guidelines and linkages and structural
sensitivities, and alternatives and implemental models. And God
saw that this was very democratic.

And so would have ended the fifth day, except for the unintentional
renewal of the debate about the differences between goals and
objectives.

On the 6th day the committee agreed on criteria for adjudicatory
assessment and evaluation. This wasn't the agenda that God had
planned. He wasn't able to attend, however, because he had to
take the afternoon off to create day and night, heaven and earth,
seas and plants, stars and trees, seasons and years, sun and moon,
birds and fish, and animals and human beings.

On the seventh day God rested and the committee submitted its
recommendations.

It turned out the recommended forms for things were nearly
identical to the way that God had created them... so the committee
passed a majority vote resolution commending God for his
implementation according to the guidelines.

There was, however, some opinion expressed that people should have
been created in the committee's image.

And God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the committee...

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